Series 5

As a result of a power cut, Alf and Camille repair to the candlelit pub where Alf sounds off about Margaret Thatcher, despite her being a Conservative. This sets off an argument with Arthur and Mr. Johnson about a number of things – including death, the undertaker at the next table unsettling Alf.

They may be halfway up the aisle but Alf and his bride-to-be are still arguing, especially when she wants to throw out his furniture as being tat. A fake overdose attempt cuts no ice so Alf is off to the pub to talk about suicide, death and Heaven – though Fred Johnson, as an atheist, is having none of it.

Complaining that Alf is a shabby dresser, Camille also wants him to take out life insurance in case he goes first. At the pub, a discussion on health does anything but allay Mr. Carey's fears about getting a hip replacement in view of Alf's hospital horror stories.

Alf decides to earn some money by window cleaning for Mrs. Carey. Despite failing to get any wages, he gets lots of free groceries after catching the milkman in a compromising position.

Alf tries his hand with man's best friend, much to Fred Johnson's delight, but who's taking who for a walk?

Initially delighted when summoned for jury service, Alf becomes increasingly paranoid that he is being stalked.

As jury service draws closer, Alf is worried about the possibility of revenge from the criminal fraternity.

Alf forgets his pass and is unable to get on the bus. The following day, he arranges a day trip for a group of OAP's who, armed with their passes, commandeer a bus.

Camille is forcing Alf to try and save money for their wedding. That includes no smoking and no drinking.

As Alf's wedding to Camille approaches, the preparations unfold: gift giving, Alf's stag night, and finally the big event itself.