Season 5

Mark's life flashes before his very eyes, at the whim of Bob and Wade.

When is this? Where am I? Who's asking me all these trivia questions? Why is that man putting a condom on a bullet? And why is that other man... BALD?!

I want million, you want million, we all want million! (Celebrity guest appearances by Bob's Dad and Benjamin Franklin.)

Things are gettin' real saucy between Wade, Bob, Mark, George & Martha Washington, skating flies, briefcase puppies, and a whole lot of ketchup.

For the price of one penny, you could have all the toy trains, crusty socks, and dead bodies imaginable!

Keep your hands, arms, feet, Pokémon and Blockbuster cards inside Mark's time machine at all times. And remember, every action has an equal and opposite distraction.

A moist bear and a hot fox, both with soapy eyes, walk into a bar in Australia. One orders a "Kadoova", the other orders a "Chump." And let me tell ya, that bartender got the greatest e****ion you've ever seen in your entire life.

Look at my ice! It's time for some good ol' fashioned icebreakers with Bob!

For better or for worse, this episode is about the best and the worst.

This episode of Distractible pleads the fifth. Any further information will require the presence of a lawyer. Or just get Bob or Wade, that should be good enough.

Whether you like it fast or slow, Distractible is here to satisfy.

This episode is brought to you by Walmart Subscriptions. Groceries and essentials, delivered on repeat. Welcome to your Walmart. Old Mark-plier had another farm. E.

The dudes are bringing it back home with this one.

WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD, large quantities of beans and hyperventilation.

The Distractible Time Machine™ is still running, and this time Wade is in the driver's seat.

The internet's most reliable news source is back, but maybe not better than ever.

Wade may have screwed up, but at least he's got the voice of an absolute angel.

Orange Is The New Distract.

The greatest public domain story ever told finally comes to the big screen.

Markiplier presents, "A Heist with Bob & Wade."

Can Wade sneak his oozing and thronging weirdness past Mark and Bob?

All of the Distractible crossovers you've dreamt off, jam-packed into one episode!

W asks B & M some grade A "Q"s.

Just because we don't have merch right now, doesn't mean we still can't try to sell you stuff!

Mark wreaks revenge and havoc on Bob and Wade for all those definitely, totally not deserved losses.

Well, that was gross...

Is Mark's masochism, Bob's parental instinct, and Wade's Scottish accent enough to take down 100 gorillas? And we're only getting started...

Chef Wade is back in the kitchen serving up some more hot and steamy euphemisms, with a side of red onions and corn off the cob.

The Yankee Doodle Daddies decide to do some long needed gerrymandering.

The guys play a word game so dumb, even a mechanic fixing Wade's plumbing could do it.

The number one trusted news source for pregnant people, meat puppets, and parrots is back!

What's better than this? Guys being dudes.

If the tech ain't broke, don't fix it. Unless you're Wade, in which case everything is broken.

Everyone's favorite role-playing game just got a whole lot more bald.

Bob and Wade must carry the weight of Mark's game on their shoulders.

What do frogs, cluckin', Franz Ferdinand, and loud moans all have in common? Just ask Wade...

It's been quite some time since Bob last decided torture Mark and Wade with trivia. Let's fix that right now.

Three "expert" gamers share their "expertise" on the past, present, and future of the gaming world.

How well do the guys know their own show? Also, do you smell something...

What's more American than releasing a 4th of July special 3 days after the 4th of July?

I liked Distractible before it was cool.

Look no further, you've come to the right place to gain sacred knowledge about crows, plants, geese, and zombies.

"Bard" Bob doth take Wadeiam Shakespeare and Markbeth out for a night at the theatre.

Can we ever really trust Wade though? Anyone with that amount of shine is sure to have his secrets.

Back in my day, it used to cost only five cents to watch Mark, Bob, and Wade talk about maggots, beavers, and feces.

3 men, one trail, and a whole lot of dysentery and grandfather clocks.

It's time for the devil once again to come collect what's owed to him: a strong argument.

The guys pop a squat and push out some topics for this steaming hot August episode.

Distractible has officially set the record for World's Best Dad, World's Baldest, and World's Shortest.

Mark puts Bob and Wade to the linguistic test to see how they can make famous quotes.

Chef Wade Ramsay orders competitors Mark and Bob to the kitchen to cook up some cold-cut truths and sizzlin' hot takes.

Mark challenges Bob and Wade to draw for their lives in this Pictionary style game.

No more monkey-ing around, we have bigger fish to fry... then place in the restaurant bathroom.

The curse of the monkey themed episodes continues to linger as Wade gives Mark and Bob some profound choices to make.

You know it's time to search for pennies when Mark strips down and Wade starts speaking French.

The Distractible hosts are ready to take down the other chart-topping podcasts and reclaim their rightful position to number one.

Another unsolved mystery that started with $10,000 and ended in a knife fight.

Bob shares his big diction energy with Mark and Wade in his obscure word guessing game.

Mark returns from his weekly hospital trip to warn us all about the dangers of eating vegetables.

Bob encourages Mark and Wade to jump in the deep end of various topics.

Bob encourages Mark and Wade to jump in the deep end of various topics.

The guys prove that being an adult doesn't keep spoopy characters from attacking if you're naughty.

A walk of atonement is in order for the long list of people that Mark, Bob, and Wade have deemed the most shameful.

The boys are finally back together again in Ohio, ready to let their streams of consciousness flow out in person. And from the looks of their streams, one of the guys is definitely allergic to Skyline, and another has a severe foot injury.

What happens on the Distracti-couch, stays on the Distracti-couch.

Before Wade hosts a game of "Would You Rather," Mark proves that the journey from Ohio isn't always a happy one.

Make sure you got the scary tape handy, because you'll need to keep your hairs from standing after this spoopy episode.

A Distractible episode is worth a thousand words.

Wade continues to keep the spoopy season in gear by hosting a discussion about bald-chilling curses and legends.

Bob returns with another word game that is guaranteed to absolutely destroy Mark and Wade's egos.

Not all battles are worth winning.

Hiii...

View and listen with caution, because no amount of discretion is guaranteed to keep frog swallowing mouse nut babies at bay... especially tonight...

He's making a list, and checking it twice. He's gonna find out who's bald or lacks height.

Listeners, you're responsible for this...

Having a midlife crisis? Don't worry, the guys will make it all go away...

Step aside Bob, there's a shiny new word-smith in town.

Alternate Title: "Wade Struggles For 45 Minutes."

The Distracti-menu specials for tonight are PB & J sandwiches and boiled eggs. And wait until you see what's for dessert...

Another year is almost at a close, but that doesn't mean that there isn't plenty of balding- I mean... BLESSINGS to acknowledge and short-uh... SURE things to look forward to in 2026.

The ultimate test of endurance returns as Mark once again puts Bob and Wade to the linguistic test.

The cephalopod confab returns as the guys expound upon what childhood games they'd like to see in their own version of Squid Game.

The guys alphabetically bring out the Christmas cheer with classic tales of elf prison breaks, fast food snowmen, gigantic Santas, and a whole lot of everyone's favorite character: Ligolo.

New year, new games, same bald, same 'naise.

Bob and Mark motivate Wade to start his 2026 New Year's resolutions.

The reviews are in, and critics are raving: "Finally! A star that out-shines the rest!" - The Minion Chronicle "If I said I didn't like it, that would be a bald-faced lie." - The Hairless Herald "I can't f**king see!" - Bob

Mark's movie is almost out, Wade finds some time to relax, and Bob introduces his bouncing baby girl, Dor (but who tf cares about her.)

The guys bundle up for a trip down memory lane and share their (maybe) true stories from snow days.

Your favorite Distractible game just got a whole lot more medical.

The "Lost Boys" take a trip to Neverland to share the childhood things they'll never be too old for.

Is that the piercing sound of an explosion, or Mark trying to sing in falsetto? We'll never know... Get set up quick and connect to their fast speeds.

Wade's not bald, he's just drawn that way. Get set up quick and connect to their fast speeds.

Fortunately, Wade has a new improv game for Bob and Mark. Unfortunately, bald.

The three angy boys discuss what turns each of them into grumpy-wumpy-wumpersons.

Don't your worry your precious head, just relax and let the good doctors do their jobs. *Gun Gary walks in*

Who's that peeping back at you through your telescope? Is it Mupiter? The Death Star Boob? One can only wonder...

Bob and Wade go into the field to bring the hottest, slipperiest, and trippiest scoops to you.

Professor Wade "Bald" Barnes quizzes students Mark and Bob on their knowledge of the alphabet.

Bob tries to make sense of Mark and Wade's senses.

WARNING: For today only, avoid recording ADR, baking bread, solving math equations, and watching movies starring Will Smith.

Bob brings back a classic Distractible game, dicier than ever.

What happened to Mark at the Oscars, and what's that under Bob's shoe?

What do book fairs, dentists, and summer camp have in common? Well, the bible says...

Bob decides to raise Mark and Wade's blood pressure, to test their already fragile health.

Anything is on the table when the horny penguins and metal pipes come out to play.

Dear Penthouse Forum, I can't believe it happened to him.

Bob and Wade make everything terrible for Mark.

Quick, get flat!

No perfectest crime? Well hey, everyone makes mistakes.

Hear ye, hear ye! The council of three declare new laws for thee!