Season 1

Nurse Pam Sandwich arrives for her first day at St. Christopher's. Matron Conniving-Bitch throws the Hospital Administrator out the window to get his job. Dr. Lovechild dumps Nurse Effie who climbs to the roof to kill herself. Will Nurse Effie jump?

Matron Conniving-Bitch becomes acting Administrator and starts her reign of terror. Dr. Good fights to save the Administrator's life, but Matron tries to finish him off. Nurse Effie jumps from the roof. Nurse Pam Sandwich is in love, but is it with the good Dr. Good or the cad Dr. Lovechild?

Nurse Pam Sandwich falls for Dr Good, but he cannot return her love. Dr Lovechild tries to bribe his way into the Administrator's job. Matron Conniving-Bitch blackmails Dr Good to stop him applying for the Administrator's post, but he applies anyway. Orderly Warren applies for the Administrator's post. Who will be Administrator?

Orderly Warren is appointed Administrator. Effie falls for Warren - now he has a well-paid job - and they unite with the sloppiest kiss in screen history. Dr. Lovechild tries to seduce Nurse Pam Sandwich. An axe-murderer attacks Nurse Pam and she runs into the arms of Dr. Good. Matron Conniving-Bitch plots to get rid of Warren. Will she succeed?

The axe-murderer continues to stalk St. Christopher's. Dr. Lovechild is accused of being the axe-murderer when his yeti-boots are seen by Nurse Pam Sandwich. Matron Conniving-Bitch drugs Nurse Effie and has her shoot Administrator Warren. Will the senseless violence ever end?

Doctors Good and Lovechild save Warren's life. Matron Conniving-Bitch again tries to kill him and Nurse Effie sells her soul to St. Christopher to save him. Matron Conniving-Bitch realises the axe-murderer is her lost boyfriend. Dr. Lovechild escapes from custody and is injured when he crashes his Porsche while being chased by Detective Inspector Slabb. Will Dr Lovechild live?

Dr. Good proposes to Nurse Pam Sandwich. St. Christopher arrives to claim Nurse Effie's soul. Dr. Lovechild is diagnosed with CBD (Complete Body Dysfunction), which is incurable. He tells Nurse Pam Sandwich he is dying and puts the hard word on her. Will nurse Pam remain faithful to Dr. Good?

Nurse Effie becomes a Nun. Detective Inspector Slabb goes to India on a wild goose chase. Dr. Good and Nurse Pam Sandwich set their wedding date. Dr. Lovechild and Warren hold a buck's night for Dr. Good (with a real stag movie). Matron Conniving-Bitch and Bill the Axe-murderer plot to ruin the wedding. Will they succeed?

The wedding of the year as Dr. Good and Nurse Pam Sandwich tie the knot. All goes well until Matron Conniving-Bitch and Bill the Axe-murderer seek their revenge. Will Matron's bomb explode?

Dr. Good and Nurse Pam Good-Sandwich go on their honeymoon. While performing life-saving surgery on Matron Conniving-Bitch after she is shot, Dr. Lovechild, his death being near, performs plastic surgery on her as his legacy. Nurse Effie dies in a tragic accident. Warren, distraught by Nurse Effie's death, contemplates suicide. Will he kill himself?

A new Administrator is appointed and she is attracted to Dr. Good. The new improved Matron is unveiled and she falls in love with Dr. Lovechild. Warren tries to kill himself, but pulls himself together. Dr. Lovechild's CBD is put into remission by Matron's love for him. Nurse Pam Sandwich announces she is pregnant. Dr. Good and Nurse Pam discover they are really brother and sister. What will become of their marriage?

Dr. Lovechild and Slabb fight over Matron Conniving-Bitch. Matron Conniving-Bitch reverts to her former self. Angie, the new Administrator and Dr. Good inject Dr. Lovechild with their new cure to try and save his life. Warren helps Nurse Pam Sandwich prepare for her baby's birth. Angie declares her love for Dr. Good. Will Warren deliver nurse Pam's baby?

Dr. Lovechild dies on the operating table, but is given a second chance at life by heaven's receptionist, Nurse Effie; but he must marry within 24 hours. Dr. Good reverts to a mental age of 7 after being hit on the head. Nurse Pam Sandwich gives birth to a baby boy. Slabb proposes to Matron Conniving-Bitch. Warren inherits the title "Earl of Cronkshonk". A mystery woman arrives in reception claiming to be Matron Conniving-Bitch's lost daughter. The hospital is under a demolition order. Will the hospital be demolished?